It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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