I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There r osticjed everywhere
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize