Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
