I wanna bring you to show and tell
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
