I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love having hate sex.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
