We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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