4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
