you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
