Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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