help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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