It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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