He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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