If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
