Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
