i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
