I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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