I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
