I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
