Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
