But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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