I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
