It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
