too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Randomize
