hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
