A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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