Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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