I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
