Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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