Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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