$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
