"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
