could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
