Can Purell be used as lube?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
