Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
