I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize