just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
