yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize