come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
a search helicopter?!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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