I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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