i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
