I wish i was in the wii world.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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