matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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