after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Help. Why am I so naked?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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