We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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