I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
