Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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