MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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