You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
