Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
