"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
