I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
