the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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