You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize