So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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