is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
