U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize