she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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