so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
