I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
