I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
