Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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